Finding Your Path to Sobriety

It took me at least 10 years of drinking and drugging before I found my path to sobriety. I resisted this path for so long because I was stubborn and because I was afraid.

I was terrified of what life would be like sober. I did not want to explore the idea. It frightened me. I had been wearing a mask and medicating my feelings with alcohol for so long that the thought of sobriety truly scared me.

But eventually I surrendered to the idea of sobriety. Some people say that they surrendered to the disease of alcoholism but I think for me it was a surrender to this crushing fear of a sober life. I gave up struggling against it and decided to let it unfold around me. I gave in to the fear and decided that I was more afraid to keep drinking and to die. This was my path to the decision to stop drinking. I don't know exactly how I overcame this fear but it was a letting go of sorts. I simply let the fear slide somehow. It no longer mattered to me and I was willing to face the dismal prospect (so I thought!) of a life without drinking.

For me, I had to ask for help in order to get sober. I was a complete mess and I was scared and I did not really believe that the sober life was possible for me. So I had to ask for help. This was hard to do but luckily the right people guided me into treatment. I'm grateful that I went to treatment as it was instrumental in my early recovery. Without it I would still be drinking.

I personally stayed in treatment for almost 2 years. I went from detox, to a residential program, to a long term facility. This proved to be an excellent decision for me. I had tried treatment in the past but had always failed after a short stay. Living in long term treatment gave me the stability and the accountability that I needed to get a good start on my recovery.

I wish long term treatment were the answer for everyone but I'm afraid that it is not. While living there, I watched about 30 other alcoholics struggle and eventually relapse. Maybe 3 or 4 guys out of a few dozen stayed sober for a year. Only one of them that I know other than myself of has stayed clean and sober to this day. So long term treatment is not a magic bullet, though it did work for me.

I think what is most important to realize is that everyone's path is different. There are a million and one ways to get sober. If something doesn't work for you then try something else. It is amazing how many people ignore this advice. For example, those who continuously relapse in the 12 step fellowship do not realize that they need a new strategy.

They always define insanity as doing something over and over and expecting different results. If this applies to your attempts to get sober then it is time to try something new. Maybe you've been in a 12 step program for years but have not been able to string together any meaningful clean time. If that is the case why not try therapy, or counseling, or some other approach?

There are lots of ways to get sober and there are many people who can help you but ultimately you have to find your own path. How could this not be true? You are walking through life as an individual and making your own decisions. The path you are on was chosen by you. Take ownership of your path and your recovery. It is only through doing so that you can find your true path to sobriety.